K_`j dfie`e^# Y\k GXk k_Xk KiXZp `j X È@ i\d\d Y\i k_Xk j_fn%É
jZ`\eZ\ k\XZ_\i% J_\ nXj X Z_\d`jkip È@ gcXp\[ :Xifc# k_\ dfd% Jf dp
n`q `e _`^_ jZ_ffc% J_\ gifYXYcp gcXpj _lj YXe[ Xe[ [`[ k_Xk ]fi X ]\n
jf]k YXcc fe k_\ n\\b\e[j n`k_ X [fq\e p\Xij#É j Xp# ^iXjg`e^ ]fi jfd\k_`e^
nfd\e j_\Ëj befne ]fi )' p\Xij% J_\Ëcc i\[\\d`e^ kf k_ifn `e% È@ Xcjf Y\ZXd\
jk`cc Y\ jdXik Xe[ X c`kkc\ Y`k \ZZ\eki`Z% X d\d Y\i f] k_\ 8:CL%É
J_\Ëcc fi[\i k_\ Z_`Zb\e Yli^\i% È;f pfl nfib fe Xep f] k_\`i Zfd$
Dfi\ f]k\e k_Xe efk# @Ëd gi\kkp XZZl$ d`kk\\j6É j_\ Xjbj%
iXk\% 8ck_fl^_ [\]p Xepfe\ kf _Xm\ K_\p _Xm\ Zfdd`kk\\j6
befne k_Xk ;XeX# k_Xk kfkXc gfk_\X[# K_\ j\im\i Xgg\Xij Xk fli kXYc\#
nflc[ Y\Zfd\ X Dfidfe% Xd [i`m\e È9i\kk# n_Xk X ki\Xk kf j\\ pfl [li`e^
Yp Zli`fj`kp Xe[ dp cfm\ ]fi gif^efjk`$ k_\ [Xpk`d\%É
ZXk`fe% 9lk n_\e d\\k g\fgc\ ]ifd cffb lg Xk K\ii`# n_fËj Y\\e nfib$
dp gXjk# Xcjf k\e[ kf Ô e[ XYjfclk`fe `e^ Xk k_`j i\jkXliXek ]fi Xj cfe^ Xj
]fi dp fne leÔ e`j_\[ Ylj`e\jj% Kliej @Ëm\ Y\\e Zfd`e^ _\i\% K\ii` c`b\j kf
flk# \m\ipfe\Ëj Yld Yc`e^ Xcfe^% J_\iip i\^Xc\ Xepfe\ n_f n`cc c`jk\e n`k_ _\i
cffb\[ c`b\ j_\ _X[ k_\ n_fc\ gXZbX^\1 [Xk`e^ [`jXjk\ij%
K_\ jlZZ\jj]lc ^\e`lj _lj YXe[# k_\ ÈPfl befn k_Xk ^lp n_f nXj nX`k`e^
“What’s your
knf ^`]k\[ b`[j n`k_ jkiX`^_k k\\k_# X book about?” she asks. ]fi d\ Xk k_\ YXi cXjk e`^_k6É j_\ Xjbj%
j`[\c`e\ i\gg`e^ X ^iXg_`Z Xik`jkÇXe[ “Oh, it’s a nothing little jd`c\ n\Xbcp Xk KiXZp# n_f jd`c\j
_\i _X`i nXj jk`cc ^cfjjp Xe[ YfleZp% YXZb \e`^dXk`ZXccp%
8]k\i fe\ _fli Xe[ knf dXik`e`j# _fn$ ÈLd# @Ëd efk jli\ jXn k_Xk ^lp#É
thing,” I say. It strikes me
\m\i# j_\ kfc[ d\ k_Xk _\i _lj YXe[ `j jXp kf K\ii`%
that Tracy has not
X[[`Zk\[ kf gfieÇXe[ k_Xk fe\ f] _\i ÈJli\ pfl [`[% ?\ nXj k_\ fe\ n_f
pronounced judgment on
c\^j `j j_fik\i k_Xe k_\ fk_\i# X ]XZk nXj Xjb`e^ Xcc k_\ kil\ fi ]Xcj\ hl\j$
e\m\i be\n `e Zfcc\^\% k`fej XYflk 8d\i`ZXe @[fc%É
anything I’ve o ered.
It’s only been me—
ÈF_# _`d#É jXp% È@ [`[eËk efk`Z\
Y\ZXlj\ [feËk nXkZ_ i\Xc`kp KM%É
damning myself with
K_`j `j kil\% cffb kf KiXZp kf j\\ `]
every comparison.
@Ëm\ jZfi\[ X gf`ek _\i\%
È9f ^fk ifYY\[#É KiXZp jXpj%
ÈEf j_`k#É K\ii` jXpj kf _\i%
nXkZ_ k_\d [`m\ `ekf Xe \oZ_Xe^\
XYflk 8d\i`ZXe @[fc K_\ Zfem\ijX$
k`fe `j Xe`dXk\[# Xe[ Xj k_\p giXkkc\
fe kXb\ k_`j cXjk Y`k f] `e]fidXk`fe
X Yflk KiXZp Xe[ kip kf jc`[\ `k `e n`k_
Xcc k_\ i\jk% KiXZp `j X _`^_$gfn\i\[#
gldg$n\Xi`e^ c\j Y`Xe cf YYp`jk n_f
nXkZ_\j 8d\i`ZXe @[fc%
8]k\i gcXZ`e^ fli fi[\ijÇKiXZp
Xjbj ]fi X K_X` niXgÇn\ i\klie kf
fli Zfem\ijXk`fe%
ÈJf pfl [`[ k_Xk 9iX[p 9le Z_ j_fn
Xe[ k_\e pfl [`[ n_Xk6É
J\\# _\i\Ëj k_\ gif Yc\d n`k_ d\\k$
`e^ fc[ ]i`\e[jÇk_\p `emXi`XYcp Xjb
n_Xk pflËm\ Y\\e [f`e^ Xcc k_\j\ p\Xij%
8e[ n_`c\ @Ëm\ Y\\e X cfm`e^ ]i`\e[#
X [\mfk\[ n`]\ Xe[ X ^ff[ Zfem\ijX$
k`feXc`jk# ZXeËk ZcX`d kf _Xm\ XZZfd$
gc`j_\[ dlZ_ \cj\% K_\ fecp kXe^`Yc\
k_`e^j j\\d kf _Xm\ gif[lZ\[ Xi\ knf
Z_`c[i\e Yfk_ `dgi\jj`m\ Xe[ [\Yk
Xcjf `dgi\jj`m\ Xe[ jkXik\[ X ]\d$
`e`jk k_\Xk\i Zfcc\Zk`m\ `e E\n Pfib#
k_`j# Xe[ k_\ g\ijfe Xejn\i\[# ÈEXi$
Zfk`Zj 8efepdflj%É
ÈN_Xk Xi\ pfl nfib`e^ fe efn6É
Xjb# Ô ^li`e^ k_Xk k_`j g_iXj`e^ c\e[j
`kj\c] kf Xejn\ij k_Xk iXe^\ ]ifd ÈX
i\gfik ]fi dp YfjjÉ kf ÈjfYi`\kp%É
È@Ëd X cfYYp`jk#É j_\ jXpj%
È8 cfYYp`jk% Nfn%É
cffb Xk k_\ jl`k% J_\Ëj Xn]lccp n\cc
glk$kf^\k_\i% DXp Y\ j_\Ëj `e jfd\
i\Xccp Zfej\imXk`m\ Ô \c[% DXp Y\ j_\Ëj
i\gi\jj\[ _\i c\jY`Xe`jd Xe[ Y\Zfd\
KI8:PËJ C8K<% cffb k_ifl^_ [Xe Z$
`e^ [ljk gXik`Zc\j Xk k_\ j_Xg\j f] g\f$
gc\ nXcb`e^ gXjk% @Ëd gi\kkp jli\ @Ëd
efk cffb`e^ ]fi X ]ffk$_`^_ X]if Xep$
dfi\% 9lk Xd cffb`e^ ]fi X dXee`j_
^`ic `e X Ylcbp gcX`[ j_`ik Xe[ `cc$Ô kk`e^
a\Xej% N_`Z_ `j n_p @Ëd Zfe]lj\[ n_\e
X jc\\b nfdXe `e X g\eZ`c jb`ik Xe[
gldgj Xgg\Xij `e ]ifek f] d\%
È9i\kk#É j_\ jXpj# _\i mf`Z\ Xj cfn
Xe[ [iXne flk Xj X K`Y\kXe Z_Xek%
È;feËk ^\k lg#É j_\ `ekfe\j Xe[ jc`gj
`ekf k_\ Yffk_% 8j j_\ j\kkc\j# ^\k X
Y\kk\i cffb% @kËj KiXZp Xcc i`^_k# \oZ\gk
n`k_ _\i _X`i gi\jj\[ `ekf X e\Xk Yf Y#
ef ^cXjj\j Xe[ X jkXiZ_\[ n_`k\ j_`ik
Yi`cc`Xek X^X`ejk _\i [Xib jb`e%
i\XZ_ lg kf jdffk_ dp _X`i%
È@Ëd jfiip @Ëd cXk\#É j_\ jXpj% È@Ëd
efk lj\[ kf k_`j j`[\ f] kfne%É
ÈF] Zflij\#É j Xp# nfe[\i`e^ n_Xk
j`[\ f] kfne j_\ `j lj\[ kf%
N\ g`Zb lg k_\ d\elj# \oZ_Xe^`e^
`[c\ Z_Xk n_`c\ n\ jZXe% J_\ k\ccj d\
k_Xk j_\ aljk ZXd\ ]ifd X JXkli[Xp
dfie`e^ d\\k`e^% k\cc _\i k_Xk dp
jfej Xe[ _lj YXe[ Xi\ Xk _fd\%
nfe[\i n_Xk _\i d\\k`e^ nXj ]fi
Ylk Xd X]iX`[ kf Xjb% I\Z\ekcp [`[
X i\c`^`flj$i`^_k\i fi X JZ`\ekfcf^`jk%
È@ cf YYp ]fi g\[`Xki`Z 8@;J `jjl\j%
_\cg\[ iX`j\ fm\i ) Y`cc`fe#É KiXZp jXpj%
ÈK_XkËj m\ip% `dgfikXek#É jXp%
>ff[ cfi[# k_`eb# _\i\Ëj jfd\fe\
n_fËj [f`e^ jfd\k_`e^ j`^e`Ô ZXek%
N_XkËj j_\ ^f`e^ kf k_`eb n_\e k\cc
_\i k_Xk [feËk [f dlZ_ f] Xep$
k_`e^ 6 DXp Y\ j_flc[ Yi`e^ lg k_\
Ô m\ [`ee\ij Ylp ]fi k_\ _fd\c\jj
j_\ck\i \m\ip K_Xebj^`m`e^%
@ejk\X[# jkXi\ Xk dp nXk\ip ;`\k
:fb\%
È8e[ n_Xk _Xm\ pfl Y\\e [f`e^#
9i\kk6É KiXZp Xjbj# jfle[`e^ ^\el$
`e\cp `ek\i\jk\[%
ÈN\cc#É jXp# glcc`e^ flk X jkXe[Xi[
i\jgfej\% È@ ^fk dXii`\[ Xe[ kiXm\c\[
Xifle[ n`k_ X j_fn ZXcc\[ K_\ I\Xc
C`m\ 9iX[p 9leZ_ ]fi X ]\n p\Xij% N\
i\\eXZk\[ \g`jf[\j ]ifd k_\ j\i`\j%É
